Labels: Photography
Untittled
Its been forever since i last blogged.
Its always the situation where i promised myself i was going to blog at nights but i always end up doing something else.
Ive been in a daze lately.
I feel like the world is spinning too fast for me to handle. Things surrounding me are getting way too complicated. I have to watch every step i take. My life is like a ticking bomb. Im so scared. Everytime i think bout the situation im facing everyday, it makes me wanna break down and cry. Im way pass the stage where i wanna treasure life as you only get to live it once. I feel like a dying patient. Lying in bed, waiting for death.
My symptoms are not visable. I might talk bout them once in a while. But i know no one's listening. No one wants to help cause no one cares.
I dont have a boyfriend
I dont have a true friend
I dont have a family
I dont have anything for me to hold onto.
FUCK
the haters,
the assoles,
the people out to get me,
the whiners,
the people that cheated me,
the people who pretended to be my friend,
the people who are purposely rude,
the people who purposely lie,
the hypicritical,
the greedy,
the decieving
the people who dont appreciate me
I dont want to imagine my life 10 years from now. Its scary. Someone once told me not to worry as there is a saying that if life sucked now, itll get better eventually. Nothing has changed even since i was a kid. My life still sucks.
I dont understand the game of life, the rules and the consequences. Am i playing it right?
Imagine everyday when i wake up the first thing that comes into my head is,
i hope everything is gonna be okay.
At the end of the day, i wished and wished hard that i would get knocked down by a bus.
From the peers in school to the love i recieve from home.
Every feeling is mixed up.
How would you feel...
if you tired to be nice to everyone, make people laugh and love you but they turn around and say that you are seeking attention?
when your just upset for being so leftout and people say and you are one moody bitch and you are the cause of ruining the evening?
when you vocie out your own opinions and views, people say that you're fucking demanding?
This is truly making me a very very sparstic child.
I just need love from someone. Anyone.
I need a true friend who understands me inside out.
Who wouldnt be a bastard and throw me around.
Who knows my weakness and wouldnt take advantage of it.
Who would be there for me when im in depression mode.
I just hope my life could change for a short while.
Its been a long time since i last smiled.
I miss that feeling....
Its always the situation where i promised myself i was going to blog at nights but i always end up doing something else.
Ive been in a daze lately.
I feel like the world is spinning too fast for me to handle. Things surrounding me are getting way too complicated. I have to watch every step i take. My life is like a ticking bomb. Im so scared. Everytime i think bout the situation im facing everyday, it makes me wanna break down and cry. Im way pass the stage where i wanna treasure life as you only get to live it once. I feel like a dying patient. Lying in bed, waiting for death.
My symptoms are not visable. I might talk bout them once in a while. But i know no one's listening. No one wants to help cause no one cares.
I dont have a boyfriend
I dont have a true friend
I dont have a family
I dont have anything for me to hold onto.
FUCK
the haters,
the assoles,
the people out to get me,
the whiners,
the people that cheated me,
the people who pretended to be my friend,
the people who are purposely rude,
the people who purposely lie,
the hypicritical,
the greedy,
the decieving
the people who dont appreciate me
I dont want to imagine my life 10 years from now. Its scary. Someone once told me not to worry as there is a saying that if life sucked now, itll get better eventually. Nothing has changed even since i was a kid. My life still sucks.
I dont understand the game of life, the rules and the consequences. Am i playing it right?
Imagine everyday when i wake up the first thing that comes into my head is,
i hope everything is gonna be okay.
At the end of the day, i wished and wished hard that i would get knocked down by a bus.
From the peers in school to the love i recieve from home.
Every feeling is mixed up.
How would you feel...
if you tired to be nice to everyone, make people laugh and love you but they turn around and say that you are seeking attention?
when your just upset for being so leftout and people say and you are one moody bitch and you are the cause of ruining the evening?
when you vocie out your own opinions and views, people say that you're fucking demanding?
This is truly making me a very very sparstic child.
I just need love from someone. Anyone.
I need a true friend who understands me inside out.
Who wouldnt be a bastard and throw me around.
Who knows my weakness and wouldnt take advantage of it.
Who would be there for me when im in depression mode.
I just hope my life could change for a short while.
Its been a long time since i last smiled.
I miss that feeling.
Labels: Feelings
The silence surrounding me
Ive been so tired lately.
And today wasnt any different.
I slept on the way to school,
Slept during school,
Skipped school,
Slept on the way back
Came home and slept for a while.
Im so freakingly tired. =(
As promised, updates on what has happened lately.
Monday, me karyn and chris skipped school.
I met karyn in town late at bout 7 and we just hung around. i got a hair extension done for 10 bucks. pretty cool =) and i finally got to buy my black belt for 12 bucks. While we were walking around, we stumbled upon Galissa at primative Far East.
Later, me and karyn headed down to City hall coz i wanted to get my red converse but its was too expensive or me to afford. =D
Tuesday, we got into so much trouble.
Coz we skipped school on monday, the heads of our department were hunting the 3 of us down to speak to us. Was a boring 30 minutes talk. When we went back to class after our break, Mr Boi also spoke to us but seperately. So it seems, a camera went missing and its under our group. I was like wtf? I told the truth and had nothing to hide coz i know ive returned the camera. Sian. Then after that, my class advisor wanted to talk to us. All the teachers are like black listing me and karyn. Its good to be bad.. Right? =)
Today... hmmm... is so tiring for me. I kinda realise that there are a couple of hotstuff in my school. I got back my results and ive got straight Bs for all 3 subjects. My GPA was like 3? Haha retard.
I told someone something funny today
Oh, she's a busted child. Hahaha. Hahahhaha.. now that was funny, i didnt realise it till much later. Screw that. Its true anyway.
Here's something nice for everyone to read.
Know that ever since i broke up with daniel and so many shit has happened, ive changed so much and its freaking me out coz i was never this nice to anyone. Right to the point where people threw me around like a ball but i still went down to lick their feet just as they wanted me to. Sian right? =) Anyway im just glad i have a friend like you. Im gonna freaking treasure you like an endangered bird sia.
REPLY
Haha its okay to be nice to people. But dont let them step over your head. Be strong girl. Im also in your situation right now. I was too nice to my friends thats why they took me for granted. But its okay. We still have to carry on with life. At least we have each other. We'll be friends for life.
Awwwwww ♥♥♥...
Im so proud to be 12 years old...
And today wasnt any different.
I slept on the way to school,
Slept during school,
Skipped school,
Slept on the way back
Came home and slept for a while.
Im so freakingly tired. =(
As promised, updates on what has happened lately.
Monday, me karyn and chris skipped school.
I met karyn in town late at bout 7 and we just hung around. i got a hair extension done for 10 bucks. pretty cool =) and i finally got to buy my black belt for 12 bucks. While we were walking around, we stumbled upon Galissa at primative Far East.
Later, me and karyn headed down to City hall coz i wanted to get my red converse but its was too expensive or me to afford. =D
Tuesday, we got into so much trouble.
Coz we skipped school on monday, the heads of our department were hunting the 3 of us down to speak to us. Was a boring 30 minutes talk. When we went back to class after our break, Mr Boi also spoke to us but seperately. So it seems, a camera went missing and its under our group. I was like wtf? I told the truth and had nothing to hide coz i know ive returned the camera. Sian. Then after that, my class advisor wanted to talk to us. All the teachers are like black listing me and karyn. Its good to be bad.. Right? =)
Today... hmmm... is so tiring for me. I kinda realise that there are a couple of hotstuff in my school. I got back my results and ive got straight Bs for all 3 subjects. My GPA was like 3? Haha retard.
I told someone something funny today
Oh, she's a busted child. Hahaha. Hahahhaha.. now that was funny, i didnt realise it till much later. Screw that. Its true anyway.
Here's something nice for everyone to read.
Know that ever since i broke up with daniel and so many shit has happened, ive changed so much and its freaking me out coz i was never this nice to anyone. Right to the point where people threw me around like a ball but i still went down to lick their feet just as they wanted me to. Sian right? =) Anyway im just glad i have a friend like you. Im gonna freaking treasure you like an endangered bird sia.
REPLY
Haha its okay to be nice to people. But dont let them step over your head. Be strong girl. Im also in your situation right now. I was too nice to my friends thats why they took me for granted. But its okay. We still have to carry on with life. At least we have each other. We'll be friends for life.
Awwwwww ♥♥♥
Labels: Feelings
Civics and Moral Education Classes
Im so proud to be 12 years old
Labels: Photography
What have you done to yourself?
Im too tired to blog what has happened lately
But promise ill do it soon.
Pitch my TVC today and i got 48 hours to improvise it
Fuck
If my ptich really do get through, who the fuck am i gonna find to be my talents???
Buy Condoms.
Thats my advert.
Lyns = Dumb Ass.
*yawnn*
ZZzzz...
...
But promise ill do it soon.
Pitch my TVC today and i got 48 hours to improvise it
Fuck
If my ptich really do get through, who the fuck am i gonna find to be my talents???
Buy Condoms.
Thats my advert.
Lyns = Dumb Ass.
*yawnn*
ZZzzz
Labels: Feelings
This is my last
Labels: Photography
Yes i was bullied
So i skipped classes today.
Fuck it.
School's boring but i really missed it though.
So ogay. Was supposed to head down to Bugis to smoke sheesha/relax.
Heh, karyn and chris fell asleep.
Sooooooooooooooo, now im waiting for them to wake up so we can go.
Its already 5pm. Busted right.
Well, my circle of friends are prone to doing this.
Busted Busted Busted.
When can i ever find a true friend who doesnt believe in giving false hopes?
Wait, do they even exits?
Its either im invisible when im out with them or they make plans then like its cancelled at the very very last minute. Come up with stupid excuses like mom in hospital or family member died. Freakin mofos.
Saturday we all hung out at the Istana Park then Fullerton.
Another one of those days where i got busted big time. Fuck it.
I dont really wanna expect anything good coming out from them.
Dont really care.
Hurts though but its not like as if they care bout my feelings.
Like what someone told me that night,
Why wanna go into someone's house when you're not welcomed.
I looked at him and replied, true.
Or maybe i should just go out alone later.
Hmmm.. yeah....
DSLR, Tripod, Lighter...
Fuck it.
School's boring but i really missed it though.
So ogay. Was supposed to head down to Bugis to smoke sheesha/relax.
Heh, karyn and chris fell asleep.
Sooooooooooooooo, now im waiting for them to wake up so we can go.
Its already 5pm. Busted right.
Well, my circle of friends are prone to doing this.
Busted Busted Busted.
When can i ever find a true friend who doesnt believe in giving false hopes?
Wait, do they even exits?
Its either im invisible when im out with them or they make plans then like its cancelled at the very very last minute. Come up with stupid excuses like mom in hospital or family member died. Freakin mofos.
Saturday we all hung out at the Istana Park then Fullerton.
Another one of those days where i got busted big time. Fuck it.
I dont really wanna expect anything good coming out from them.
Dont really care.
Hurts though but its not like as if they care bout my feelings.
Like what someone told me that night,
Why wanna go into someone's house when you're not welcomed.
I looked at him and replied, true.
Or maybe i should just go out alone later.
Hmmm.. yeah.
Labels: Feelings
You were everything to me
DSLR, Tripod, Lighter
Labels: Photography
Close your eyes and scream
Dear blogger,
Im tired of the friends i have.
Or maybe, should i really say they are my friends?
Screw it.
Gab's giving me too many false hopes and empty promises.
Im trying to be nice, besides the bitching, but no one sees it.
No one sees that im trying.
In the end i get smacked down to rock bottom.
They reject my calls and often give me false hopes.
This is killing.
I should never be this nice to them anymore.
Never gonna be like a jackass enough to msg them and ask them where are they hanging out so i could meet them.
Makes me desperate.
What are friends for? If they are even considered my friends in the first place.
After the shitty treatment ive recieved. All those moments i cried thinking where ive gone wrong. In the end, ive found out, the fault lies in them.
How can i be so stupid?
They were great company anyways.
But i dont wanna be desperate any more.
Coz the feeling fucking kills....
...
Im tired of the friends i have.
Or maybe, should i really say they are my friends?
Screw it.
Gab's giving me too many false hopes and empty promises.
Im trying to be nice, besides the bitching, but no one sees it.
No one sees that im trying.
In the end i get smacked down to rock bottom.
They reject my calls and often give me false hopes.
This is killing.
I should never be this nice to them anymore.
Never gonna be like a jackass enough to msg them and ask them where are they hanging out so i could meet them.
Makes me desperate.
What are friends for? If they are even considered my friends in the first place.
After the shitty treatment ive recieved. All those moments i cried thinking where ive gone wrong. In the end, ive found out, the fault lies in them.
How can i be so stupid?
They were great company anyways.
But i dont wanna be desperate any more.
Coz the feeling fucking kills.
Labels: Feelings
Can this get any worse?
Labels: Photography
Take everything away from me
OMFG.
I am so motherfuckingliciously bored
BORED
I woke up by the sound of my msg tone
It was darling farid, Any plan today? Farid
Sian.
Managed to catch the first episode of The L word.
Cant wait for the rest to finsh downloading.
I wanna meet Gab and the rest tomorrow.
Was supposed to watch Transformers with Zander and Farid.
Then.... i doubt Farid will msg me soooo Plan cancelled.
I just hope i get to go out tomorrow.
With anyone anywhere.
Or ill just stay at home and make cookies.
How boring is that? Chey
Oh, FYI? I ate 3 prawns =D...
I am so motherfuckingliciously bored
BORED
I woke up by the sound of my msg tone
It was darling farid, Any plan today? Farid
Sian.
Managed to catch the first episode of The L word.
Cant wait for the rest to finsh downloading.
I wanna meet Gab and the rest tomorrow.
Was supposed to watch Transformers with Zander and Farid.
Then.... i doubt Farid will msg me soooo Plan cancelled.
I just hope i get to go out tomorrow.
With anyone anywhere.
Or ill just stay at home and make cookies.
How boring is that? Chey
Oh, FYI? I ate 3 prawns =D
Labels: Feelings
I give my heart to you..
Hey bloggy bloogy bloogy =D
Today was alright.
Gab and melvin came over in the morning and watched Miami Ink before heading over to Alex's place. Was supposed to pick Farid up from school at 3 but Gab said that he might not be in school. But he actually was. Now i feel bad for ditching him =(
Mevin went to meet Devan at Yishun while Gab and i went over to Alex's place.
So motherfreaking hot this afternoon. Jesus.
At bout 3 plus we headed down to Potong Pasir to Jam.
Funny thing was that they didnt have enough cash. We were like so seriously short.
So Jasmine went in, laid the cash on the table and dashed out.
So did we. Like bout 6 kids were running away fromt the jamming studio.
A really funny sight =D
I left straight after jamming. They wanted to go to Tampines.
I had no reason to go there. Since Farid did not call me at that time.
Know, things are getting more strange around Melvin.
We dont really shake hands sincerely when we say hello or Goodbye.
And whenever i try to talk to him, he either doesnt respond or he answers my sentence by looking at someone else.
This sucks. What have i done?
Or maybe indirectly, he's trying to make me hate him instead of having feelings for him.
Dear god.
I'd seriously prefer you telling it to me straight to my face then playing games with me.
This is killing....
Today was alright.
Gab and melvin came over in the morning and watched Miami Ink before heading over to Alex's place. Was supposed to pick Farid up from school at 3 but Gab said that he might not be in school. But he actually was. Now i feel bad for ditching him =(
Mevin went to meet Devan at Yishun while Gab and i went over to Alex's place.
So motherfreaking hot this afternoon. Jesus.
At bout 3 plus we headed down to Potong Pasir to Jam.
Funny thing was that they didnt have enough cash. We were like so seriously short.
So Jasmine went in, laid the cash on the table and dashed out.
So did we. Like bout 6 kids were running away fromt the jamming studio.
A really funny sight =D
I left straight after jamming. They wanted to go to Tampines.
I had no reason to go there. Since Farid did not call me at that time.
Know, things are getting more strange around Melvin.
We dont really shake hands sincerely when we say hello or Goodbye.
And whenever i try to talk to him, he either doesnt respond or he answers my sentence by looking at someone else.
This sucks. What have i done?
Or maybe indirectly, he's trying to make me hate him instead of having feelings for him.
Dear god.
I'd seriously prefer you telling it to me straight to my face then playing games with me.
This is killing.
Labels: Feelings
Time is only temporary, this will not last forever
So many things have happened since i last blogged.
There was more hanging out.
There was alex's birthday.
There were somedays i wished didnt end.
There were somedays i cried and wished i wasnt born.
And there was everyday, where i missed him.
Can i say that Alex's birthday party was fun?
I got really drunk and had 4 angels looking after me.
Galissa, Azura, Zander & Devan
The only way to repay them is to take em out for dinner sometime.
When i have the cash $$$.
I got drunk for a reason though. Was pretty upset on that day.
Right till this moment,
ive got no idea what went wrong along the way resulting for the situation to be like how i am right this second.
It feels like erm. Im.. how do i say it. Whatever it is. Im just pretty upset over this whole issue and also when im hanging out with them, it feels like when they look at me they're telling me indirectly, omfg why the hell is she here. I dont wanna assume. I believe ive got friends. And friends dont do this. Unless im wrong. DONT KNOW LA FUCK. =(
I miss him so much. Once school starts im just gonna go crazy.
The only way to see him is when im hanging out with the rest. Feels so weird.
I hate the fact that i put myself into so much trouble just to see someone i really miss.
The feelings all so awkward when im with the clique. It feels like im some pilar or im unwanted but its all worth it in the end when i get to see him.
K enough of that crap.
Im not a stalker neither am i clingy.
I just really really like him thats all.
4 more days till school reopens. I miss the friends in school.
I really feel like killing myself
I dont understand the fact that when i try my best to be uber nice to everyone they turn around and say that im seeking attention. Kill me. Seriously.
Then what should i do? If i just keep quiet, people might say im some moody bitch which leads everyone to be moody too.
Dear god. Cruxify me....
There was more hanging out.
There was alex's birthday.
There were somedays i wished didnt end.
There were somedays i cried and wished i wasnt born.
And there was everyday, where i missed him.
Can i say that Alex's birthday party was fun?
I got really drunk and had 4 angels looking after me.
Galissa, Azura, Zander & Devan
The only way to repay them is to take em out for dinner sometime.
When i have the cash $$$.
I got drunk for a reason though. Was pretty upset on that day.
Right till this moment,
ive got no idea what went wrong along the way resulting for the situation to be like how i am right this second.
It feels like erm. Im.. how do i say it. Whatever it is. Im just pretty upset over this whole issue and also when im hanging out with them, it feels like when they look at me they're telling me indirectly, omfg why the hell is she here. I dont wanna assume. I believe ive got friends. And friends dont do this. Unless im wrong. DONT KNOW LA FUCK. =(
I miss him so much. Once school starts im just gonna go crazy.
The only way to see him is when im hanging out with the rest. Feels so weird.
I hate the fact that i put myself into so much trouble just to see someone i really miss.
The feelings all so awkward when im with the clique. It feels like im some pilar or im unwanted but its all worth it in the end when i get to see him.
K enough of that crap.
Im not a stalker neither am i clingy.
I just really really like him thats all.
4 more days till school reopens. I miss the friends in school.
I really feel like killing myself
I dont understand the fact that when i try my best to be uber nice to everyone they turn around and say that im seeking attention. Kill me. Seriously.
Then what should i do? If i just keep quiet, people might say im some moody bitch which leads everyone to be moody too.
Dear god. Cruxify me.
Labels: Feelings
