Alright. Things are getting really complicated now.
Should i listen when friends tell me to wait patiently instead of searching?
I have been insanely tired lately. With the art exams. I cant fail this.
I feel different now a days. Like i dont know what im thinking, what im saying or typing. Scared i might do something wrong and stupid with the kind of mentality im having now.
Suddenly random friends are back in keeping contact with me and i go back to wondering if God really planned out my life for me.
I have been researching researching researching and drawing and sketching like non stop.
I feel like an insane child.
But yet, like how i always say it, like i have a choice.
Tuesday do art.
Wednesday do art.
Thursday do art.
Friday do art.
Farid do art.. (check this out hhahaha)
I just returned from session 2 of my chest piece. I am very happy i must say. Mom turned out really well. And yes, it did hurt like no wait worse than a bitch esp the area around my collar bone. Again, WHAT WAS I THINKING??
Boys.. qui sont elles? Pourquoi sont ils ici? Ce qui est leur vrai motif?
Do they think the same way?
I fell in love with my best friend.
I fell in love with the most adorable boy.
But something tells me im not good enough for them.
Yet again my heart tells me not to give up.
So what should i do now? Should i just give up and settle down? Or just continue the life im living now and be happy with what ive got.
Hhhahaha you know, people tell me,
I think too much,
And i think its true. Ha
Yeah, i miss Dhanik, Alot.
So much can happen in just one night.
The love of a mom.
Its almost 5pm and it feels like i have been awake for days.
Right till this very moment, i still cant believe what an amazing day yesterday was (though nothing much exciting happened).
Shadik, my first eye candy in school.
We decided to go for a movie and did i tell you how much fun that was?
Can you see just how corky he is???
It all started out with my unicorn (which he claimed that he kept in his diary), then Singsiong lighters and went on talking about bowling balls and Big Gulps, like NON STOP. Last night he added on blogs, and the sound of a police car that goes eeeeeeeee-ooonng. Said how exciting it was to hit a leaf and lastly, porridge. Every so often you'll hear him say, wait wait wait too. No one would prolly understand what we are talking about but its our whole "chemistry" thing going on between us.
He leaves on the 3rd floor too. Hmmmmm.
Yesterday we caught Made Of Honor over at Shaw House and we stumbled upon Ryan, and shadik was like Lyns, its Ryan and im my mind was screaming, OMG WHYYYYY!!!?!?!??! Why do i have to see him here...
Well anyway, the show was amazing, i did tear a little though when the lead actor realised the couldnt get the bride he wanted and esp when the bride said, He did not want to loose he's best friend.
I teared when i thought about my situation where i had so much feelings for my best friend but yet i knew i couldnt get him. Plus, i did not want to loose him.
We hung out after the movie till we missed our last bus so we were stuck in town.
We walked so much conquering every inch of town. Felt like the only 2 souls left on this lonely planet. Creepy.
The past week has been busy busy busy.
I really cant wait to continue my chest piece. 4 more sittings to go. MORE PAIN.
Art exam coming up. Rush rush rush.
Then its the holidays. Shadik wants to go to Pakistan to look for the pervert for me =)
I have to practice my breading cause im doing shadik's hair during the hols.
I pray i dont screw up.
I told him i'd do it for free, DAMMIT LYN!
Hhhahahahaaa.. anyways ive to rush off (again).
Heading to the gym to work out.
But it doesnt feel like ive lost weight. Its damn sad.
Its playing around in my head.....
So here boy, i wrote you a little something while waiting for my Internet to work...
I loose myself in an endless goodnight, never getting it right. Sadly these are wasted conversations. They are lost on you. This is a test of my patience... I cant escape all the things we've said. Now there's nothing left. There is nothing left to loose..... Should i feel alright? Cause i swear that if i tired... to be alright to sleep at night.......... The night fades with the breath of sunshine ill do my best to adjust to the morning light. I cant keep my pace. Feel like Ive been awake for days. Sadly, now I'm faced with the harsh truth... the harsh truth and my cold heart is a place where true love cannot bloom . I cant find the words that I'm trying to say. So if you could... try to forget me..... as i..... walk away. Today, I didn't like the look that you wore. The fear starts creeping out when you have so much to loose and people hate you when your changing. The glow you see on my face... you too do have something to do with.. don't let me run away. Your smiles and laughter are the only thing that I've been waiting for all time. The only thing that Ive been waiting for... i hope it is something worth the waiting
Cause its the only something that makes me feel real. There no one in the world like you. Simple yet confusing. Your sparkling eyes make me weak at my words, they tremble. Tell me that you are alright. Everything is alright. Give me a reason. If you loose your way, just hold on to me. Something is wrong.. i cant get along without you. Im tired. I cant keep gasping for your air. Its just my imagination. It makes me smile. When are we going to live for the Love we have? You have no idea what you are doing to me. Its hard to explain but ill try if you let me. Its hard to sustain but ill cry if you let me. This doesnt change the way i feel about you or the place in my life..
Im so tired. Going to sleep now.
It should be a wonderful thursday
So ive havent been blogging in like forever.
I decided that since there was so many dramatic events happening in my life, and that i didnt anyone reading my posts (then bitch about them) i look all the links off. So no one wouldnt have any access here. But it was not like it made any difference cause i didnt blog much.
And yes, ive been too busy for you lately.
Exams are here. But i find myself no where near mugging. I desperately wanna loose more then 10kg but yet, i dont find myself working hard enough at tracks and gyms. I wanna make the people i see everyday and love happy, but yet something else seem to complicate their mind....
I decided that since there was so many dramatic events happening in my life, and that i didnt anyone reading my posts (then bitch about them) i look all the links off. So no one wouldnt have any access here. But it was not like it made any difference cause i didnt blog much.
And yes, ive been too busy for you lately.
Exams are here. But i find myself no where near mugging. I desperately wanna loose more then 10kg but yet, i dont find myself working hard enough at tracks and gyms. I wanna make the people i see everyday and love happy, but yet something else seem to complicate their mind.
