Well, the picture says it all.
I had to make him realise that the relationship wasnt all just about him.
As usual, ive been working my ass off these pass few weeks and the crowd in Topman wisma isnt very friendly to my legs to start of with.
Plus now school's getting scary. With the deadlines to meet and exams coming up.
How on earth am i coping?
Went jamming on saturday and i played bass for a while.
I so suck at bass now.
Please, i dont wanna with the... Oh.. i so wanna be in a band.
Fuck that shit.
Im tired of tiring. Look, i even sold my guitar. =)
Well the holidays are coming real soon and ive got no effing idea what i wanna do or what presents should i get.
All i want for christmas is not to be reminded that i once had a family i loved so much.
A stolen Sweetheart
Im only pretending, you know.
Anyway i forgot to mention how fun it was at the Lime Sonic Bang on Saturday.
I meet some poeple i loss contact with and ive meet new people.
I met Gab and Karmillah and afew other people in the morning then we headed to Sentosa together. I went shopping at the flee market and we were playing all morning and having fun.
Im glad i got to meet Gab again. I missed her.
Anyway i met a group of really nice boys at bout 2am in the morning and we were talking and talking and talking all night long till time flew pass us. Next thing before i knew it, it was like 10 am in the morning.
Darling sheila followed me home and we hung out at my place for a while.
As for yesterday i headed down to Tony & Guy Essentials and got my hair coloured and cut. Brilliant work to Annie. I am eagerly anticipating for next Thursday. OMG LOVES.
Nicole and i went to Boat Quay later and just had a nice cup of Coffee Bean's coffee as we glazed at the moving taxi boats.
Despite all these events happening, i still think about you like how i used to.
I miss you, Lutfi.
My 1st Cut
Baby baby im crying out loud for you right now.
Im crying out loud and hard. My eyes are bloodshot and teary.
Im screaming out for your name.
I just wanna be hugged by you. Please again.
Im going insane. I need to see a doctor.
Im freaking out.
I need you. Please i wanna hug you tightly and be safe in your arms just like that night.
When you hugged me close and tight and promised me that youll always to there for me and never let go.
Or i just wanna hear your voice tellingme that everything was going to be alright.
Im freaked out baby. I need you. Please...
I never wanted to loose you.
Im terrified. I need a doctor. I need pills. To drug me to sleep to make me forget bout what happened anything.. please.. i just need something to make me feel alright again. Drugs, pills anything. I need it badly.
I wanna forget everything we did together. It pains me so much just to think bout all those laughters we once shared. I just cant think of anything right now.
All that i know is that im still deeply in love with you
I cant say anything any longer....
...
Im crying out loud and hard. My eyes are bloodshot and teary.
Im screaming out for your name.
I just wanna be hugged by you. Please again.
Im going insane. I need to see a doctor.
Im freaking out.
I need you. Please i wanna hug you tightly and be safe in your arms just like that night.
When you hugged me close and tight and promised me that youll always to there for me and never let go.
Or i just wanna hear your voice tellingme that everything was going to be alright.
Im freaked out baby. I need you. Please...
I never wanted to loose you.
Im terrified. I need a doctor. I need pills. To drug me to sleep to make me forget bout what happened anything.. please.. i just need something to make me feel alright again. Drugs, pills anything. I need it badly.
I wanna forget everything we did together. It pains me so much just to think bout all those laughters we once shared. I just cant think of anything right now.
All that i know is that im still deeply in love with you
I cant say anything any longer.
He doesnt care
WE BROKE UP
ITS OFFICIALLY OVER.
ITS OFFICIALLY OVER.
He saved me and we drove though the sunset
That was one of his strange dreams before he left.
Im just sulking. I miss him dearly. Yes.
5 days away is no joke.
Not able to communicate is bad enough.
Im worried that something bad might happen when he's inside.
I love him, yes i do.
I dont know why.
Its something bout him i guess.
He makes me feel whole.
Even if i just loss a family and im striving to support myself.
He is still able to make me smile and think that life is all worthwhile as long as im with him.
Things didnt go well on a friday night.
We fought and he left me crying under the rain.
I bled, I cried and i begged.
I was terrified.
The only reason for living has left me.
If i was religious, i'd pray for him not to leave me like that any more.
Ive never felt so affected when someone walked out on me before.
It was truly horrifying.
I never do wanna go though what happened that friday night ever again.
It seems that the littlest things are freaking the hell out of me these days.
Im paranoid.
Of hell knows what.
What am i to do for these lonely 5 days?
Should i write letters?
Should i send him text msges?
Should i wonder if he misses me too?
Yesterday was sweet.
A nice dinner at a sushi restaurant then a late night movie.
I wanna have a good time with him before he leaves.
I'm dying without you lutfi boy ♥ ♥ ♥
...
Im just sulking. I miss him dearly. Yes.
5 days away is no joke.
Not able to communicate is bad enough.
Im worried that something bad might happen when he's inside.
I love him, yes i do.
I dont know why.
Its something bout him i guess.
He makes me feel whole.
Even if i just loss a family and im striving to support myself.
He is still able to make me smile and think that life is all worthwhile as long as im with him.
Things didnt go well on a friday night.
We fought and he left me crying under the rain.
I bled, I cried and i begged.
I was terrified.
The only reason for living has left me.
If i was religious, i'd pray for him not to leave me like that any more.
Ive never felt so affected when someone walked out on me before.
It was truly horrifying.
I never do wanna go though what happened that friday night ever again.
It seems that the littlest things are freaking the hell out of me these days.
Im paranoid.
Of hell knows what.
What am i to do for these lonely 5 days?
Should i write letters?
Should i send him text msges?
Should i wonder if he misses me too?
Yesterday was sweet.
A nice dinner at a sushi restaurant then a late night movie.
I wanna have a good time with him before he leaves.
I'm dying without you lutfi boy ♥ ♥ ♥
The dancefloor is broken
Hey all...
Good news, my photography portfolio is finally up after hours of uploading and editing. Anyway heres the link AGAIN 'just in case'. (ha omg the stupid link is like everywhere.. like wtf)
(Click onto the picture abouve and itll being you to the site)
Well anyway, today's deepavali. Was supposed to be working and earning coming to 50 bucks today but Fi has my ez link card so im stuck at home. Walalalala. Rwar. =(
School's ending soon means.... deadlines are coming closer. But i cant wait for new years eve though. The reservations to Bintan with Fi is confirmed. We've to make payment and thats it. Off to bintan to celebrate the new years. Its gonna be fun. I hope... and im gonna try very very hard to minimise that nasty temper of mine.
My new year's resolution for next year would have to be... to get a motorcycle licence by that year and try to save up hard to get my vespa. I know Fi and i are gonna push each other hard to save and get this done. Not easy though. With work and school. Plus now mom's no longer supporting me. Jesus.
But i hope everything turns out fine.
Just gotta take things slowly. One step at a time. ♥...
Good news, my photography portfolio is finally up after hours of uploading and editing. Anyway heres the link AGAIN 'just in case'. (ha omg the stupid link is like everywhere.. like wtf)
(Click onto the picture abouve and itll being you to the site)
Well anyway, today's deepavali. Was supposed to be working and earning coming to 50 bucks today but Fi has my ez link card so im stuck at home. Walalalala. Rwar. =(
School's ending soon means.... deadlines are coming closer. But i cant wait for new years eve though. The reservations to Bintan with Fi is confirmed. We've to make payment and thats it. Off to bintan to celebrate the new years. Its gonna be fun. I hope... and im gonna try very very hard to minimise that nasty temper of mine.
My new year's resolution for next year would have to be... to get a motorcycle licence by that year and try to save up hard to get my vespa. I know Fi and i are gonna push each other hard to save and get this done. Not easy though. With work and school. Plus now mom's no longer supporting me. Jesus.
But i hope everything turns out fine.
Just gotta take things slowly. One step at a time. ♥
