Its been forever since i last blogged.
Its always the situation where i promised myself i was going to blog at nights but i always end up doing something else.

Ive been in a daze lately.
I feel like the world is spinning too fast for me to handle. Things surrounding me are getting way too complicated. I have to watch every step i take. My life is like a ticking bomb. Im so scared. Everytime i think bout the situation im facing everyday, it makes me wanna break down and cry. Im way pass the stage where i wanna treasure life as you only get to live it once. I feel like a dying patient. Lying in bed, waiting for death.
My symptoms are not visable. I might talk bout them once in a while. But i know no one's listening. No one wants to help cause no one cares.

I dont have a boyfriend
I dont have a true friend
I dont have a family
I dont have anything for me to hold onto.

FUCK
the haters,
the assoles,
the people out to get me,
the whiners,
the people that cheated me,
the people who pretended to be my friend,
the people who are purposely rude,
the people who purposely lie,
the hypicritical,
the greedy,
the decieving
the people who dont appreciate me

I dont want to imagine my life 10 years from now. Its scary. Someone once told me not to worry as there is a saying that if life sucked now, itll get better eventually. Nothing has changed even since i was a kid. My life still sucks.
I dont understand the game of life, the rules and the consequences. Am i playing it right?

Imagine everyday when i wake up the first thing that comes into my head is,
i hope everything is gonna be okay.
At the end of the day, i wished and wished hard that i would get knocked down by a bus.

From the peers in school to the love i recieve from home.
Every feeling is mixed up.

How would you feel...
if you tired to be nice to everyone, make people laugh and love you but they turn around and say that you are seeking attention?
when your just upset for being so leftout and people say and you are one moody bitch and you are the cause of ruining the evening?
when you vocie out your own opinions and views, people say that you're fucking demanding?

This is truly making me a very very sparstic child.

I just need love from someone. Anyone.
I need a true friend who understands me inside out.
Who wouldnt be a bastard and throw me around.
Who knows my weakness and wouldnt take advantage of it.
Who would be there for me when im in depression mode.

I just hope my life could change for a short while.
Its been a long time since i last smiled.
I miss that feeling.

Labels: Feelings

...

Its been forever since i last blogged.
Its always the situation where i promised myself i was going to blog at nights but i always end up doing something else.

Ive been in a daze lately.
I feel like the world is spinning too fast for me to handle. Things surrounding me are getting way too complicated. I have to watch every step i take. My life is like a ticking bomb. Im so scared. Everytime i think bout the situation im facing everyday, it makes me wanna break down and cry. Im way pass the stage where i wanna treasure life as you only get to live it once. I feel like a dying patient. Lying in bed, waiting for death.
My symptoms are not visable. I might talk bout them once in a while. But i know no one's listening. No one wants to help cause no one cares.

I dont have a boyfriend
I dont have a true friend
I dont have a family
I dont have anything for me to hold onto.

FUCK
the haters,
the assoles,
the people out to get me,
the whiners,
the people that cheated me,
the people who pretended to be my friend,
the people who are purposely rude,
the people who purposely lie,
the hypicritical,
the greedy,
the decieving
the people who dont appreciate me

I dont want to imagine my life 10 years from now. Its scary. Someone once told me not to worry as there is a saying that if life sucked now, itll get better eventually. Nothing has changed even since i was a kid. My life still sucks.
I dont understand the game of life, the rules and the consequences. Am i playing it right?

Imagine everyday when i wake up the first thing that comes into my head is,
i hope everything is gonna be okay.
At the end of the day, i wished and wished hard that i would get knocked down by a bus.

From the peers in school to the love i recieve from home.
Every feeling is mixed up.

How would you feel...
if you tired to be nice to everyone, make people laugh and love you but they turn around and say that you are seeking attention?
when your just upset for being so leftout and people say and you are one moody bitch and you are the cause of ruining the evening?
when you vocie out your own opinions and views, people say that you're fucking demanding?

This is truly making me a very very sparstic child.

I just need love from someone. Anyone.
I need a true friend who understands me inside out.
Who wouldnt be a bastard and throw me around.
Who knows my weakness and wouldnt take advantage of it.
Who would be there for me when im in depression mode.

I just hope my life could change for a short while.
Its been a long time since i last smiled.
I miss that feeling.

Labels: Feelings

...