Im not too happy. Ive been crying alot lately. It reminded me of how i used to cried when i was in a relationship with Daniel.
What is the true meaning of love? Or has love been stripped off from its own reputation?
Someone, please define the true meaning of L.O.V.E and this interesting word called F.A.T.E.
Mom was talking to me bout almost everything. From going back to school to how she entered the working life to how to be independent to knowing if that one true love is destined to be with you. I am so glad i seeked help in her. She was the only person (apart from him himself) i needed to calm me down. She did a brilliant job.
But im still tearing up abit every now and then whenever i think bout us.
Plus its not easy lying down on the same bed as we did when he stayed over.
I feel like the inner me just wants to explode for being so heartbroken like this. Explode into millions of tiny pieces and just stays there. Till i recover another case of a broken heart, i dont know what to do, how to think, what to say and how to react. I wanna get over this heartache so badly. Like how fishes need water to survive and how we need oxygen to live.
Was this a test from the love goddess herself? To determine if we were really in love? Cause there is such a saying LOVE CONQUERS ALL OBSTACLES.
Is that true? Even if a family cant accept you for not being a Muslim?
All i wanted was for me to see him. At the end of the day all i wanted was to hug him and say goodbye. But he left without a trace. Only a box at my doorstep containing all the things i've lended to him.
I am gonna feel lonely. I hate that feeling. I want to feel loved. With hugs and kisses and i know i cant forget all the things and situations we have gone true. Places we have been and new things we have tried. Things we have learnt and people we have bitched about.
What else can i say? Im speechless my heart hurts bad and so does my eyes and head for crying so hard and thinking of how to calm myself down.
Is it too late? If it really is fate for us to not live without each other, who is going to make the first move? As far back as i can remember, our last conversation, he didnt seem very interested in talking to me. Well now, lets let our fate decide. I hope fate is smart.
Who would love him like i did? Care him him like i did? Accept him for who he is and most importantly was? Bite him like i did? Have late night supper at Chinatown like how we did? Make love to him like i did? Tickle him like how i did? This could go on forever.
Do you know? We both love listening to YEAH YEAH YEAHS? and mushy love songs?
If he ever gets hit by a brick and realises that it was finally time to act like a 22 year old man id open my arms and beg for him to remember that there was once a little girl who was heart broken but is willing to give their relationship another chance.
Did anyone get it or was it too complicated?
Ive came up with my new years resolution.
1. If i did go back to studying, dear god, just pass my o levels and make mom happy?
2. Never to fall in love with anyone for the year of 2008
3. Start excising and loose some fucking (wow my first curse) weight
4. STOP SCREWING MY HAIR UP. I WANT LONG HAIR
Those are 4 things i have never thought of doing sooooooooooo good luck balls.
With a broken heart
and a tear dripping on my key pad
i sign off with a bleeding wrist and painful memories.
Lynette
